Mono-grossiosis

Sources confirmed today that P-ronis has contracted mono. Lab results were returned today and P-ronis was shocked. "I don't know how this happened. It must be a mistake. I called for a revote."

When asked whether or not he could continue to work he said, "Delivering pizza isn't easy. You gotta fold some boxes, drive around, and count money. If you aren't on your game, someone might try to slip you a five instead of a ten. And who can tell the difference between those old guys on the bills?"

GO-T, brother to P-ronis and wanted for eating cans, provided some insight on how the virus was contracted. "Best I can reckon is that he done got that from his visits to PA. I also seen him with some new womens at the house."

Mono typically affects a person for 2-5 weeks. P-ronis insists that he will rise to and meet this challenge. "I won't give up. This thing can't beat me. Remember that triple burger cowabunga back in 99? Who's still around? 'Nuff said."

Georgy Porgy Pudding In His Heart

George Carlin died of heart failure over the weekend. FYI.

May The Males Live On! Vote for me

We have a debate on Wife Advice and you have to vote for me. If Nando Commando wins the debate she gets to name the kid, and she wants to name it some farm name. I'm ok if she names the girl, but not the boy. Right now she is thinking Rusty or Colby. Please vote for me before the poll closes. Click here. Don't let the Clark name be disgraced.

Sometimes things just work out

Sticky Fingers Strikes Back

Some of you may be aware that Red Beard's ship was broken into yesterday. Reports couldn't be published until the investigation was underway. So far it has been determined that Red Beard's wallet and P-ronis' Nintendo Wii were stolen. The bandits were charging like crazy for nearly 12 hours until the banks finally canceled the credit cards.

There are several unfortunate events of this incident.

1. The front door was left unlocked. Billy Goat is believed to have left the door open as he went out to graze on some cans that were dumped in a nearby recycling container.
2. Goat and P-ronis actually heard the burglar break into the house. They heard the door open and someone walking around, but decided not to interrupt their video game to see what was going on. Instead, they decided to believe that Red Beard was sleep walking again. (A result of years at sea.)
3. Red Beard's booty was known to the neighbors. On his last expedition, Red Beard collected over 100 pounds of precious jewels and treasure. He was not discrete as he carried his loot into the house.

Police haven't been very helpful at this point, and it looks like the law will be brought to the hands of vigilantes. Long live justice!