People kept telling me that I don't have this - especially my wife. They say things like, "You have a few quirks, but you certainly aren't autistic." I was very confused, but after some research I realized that they were talking about Asperger's (aka Asberger's). This is a form of autism that usually results in some difficulties with social interactions.
The confusion has occurred because my ailment is pronounced the same as the autistic syndrome previously mentioned: Ass-burgers.
In an effort to clear the muddied water, I will explain the syptoms of Asburger's:
- Itchy butt
- Cracks in the skin of the inner crevasse
- Potential bleeding
- Pain when wiping
- Uncomfortable to sit for long periods of time (as if you are sitting on a spicy hamburger) - hence the name
This not only clears my good name, but I think it might be a successful diagnosis for others who suffer from similar symptoms which have gone undiagnosed.
(NOTE: Don't bother looking online for Asburger's or asking your doctor about it. The AMA doesn't formally recognize Asberger's at this time.)
6 comments:
Eureka, I found it! Something that helps and it’s so simple and logical. I’ve suffered from rectal itch and then hemorrhoids most of my life and then on a trip to Thailand I discovered the bathroom sprayer. Some call it a bidet sprayer, I call it Heaven on Earth as it has completely solved my problem. It eliminates the need for rubbing with toilet paper and then washing with soap which just made it worse because it irritates and take away you own natural oils that you need. I bought mine at http://www.bathroomsprayers.com and it was amazingly easy to install. Enjoy, David
I think I might have a half pound, double asburger [syndrome].
Note to David. I checked out the sprayer... seems like a good idea, and their motto of "Be kind to your behind" really touches me deeply. However, what do you do when you are out? They only make them with a 3-4' hose.
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