Mono-grossiosis

Sources confirmed today that P-ronis has contracted mono. Lab results were returned today and P-ronis was shocked. "I don't know how this happened. It must be a mistake. I called for a revote."

When asked whether or not he could continue to work he said, "Delivering pizza isn't easy. You gotta fold some boxes, drive around, and count money. If you aren't on your game, someone might try to slip you a five instead of a ten. And who can tell the difference between those old guys on the bills?"

GO-T, brother to P-ronis and wanted for eating cans, provided some insight on how the virus was contracted. "Best I can reckon is that he done got that from his visits to PA. I also seen him with some new womens at the house."

Mono typically affects a person for 2-5 weeks. P-ronis insists that he will rise to and meet this challenge. "I won't give up. This thing can't beat me. Remember that triple burger cowabunga back in 99? Who's still around? 'Nuff said."