This Just In: Tongue Tied

A reliable source (the victim actually) notified me on Saturday that she was left with saliva all over her face after an assault by none other than P-ronis. The accuser told me that she and P-ronis had just finished watching a movie together when she leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek goodbye. He suddenly turned his head and slipped her the tongue as fast as Jason Stratham slid along the oil ridden floor in The Transporter. Horrified, she ran to her room in search of a mop to dry off her face. He has since denied the presence of the said tongue, but has confirmed that kissing took place.